|—||Jorah Mormont, A Storm of Swords (via incorrectgotquotes)|
can we just take a second to realize that there are 14 year olds that weren’t born in the 90’s. just fucking let that sink in.
what the fuck does he want now
Thats it that’s the single greatest pun on tumblr
go into your garage, take that dirty ass rake that you think you remember using to fend off a stray animal once, and cook your fucking food on it, you piece of shit pleb. eat off the fuckin thing while you’re at it. rake = giant fork. LIFE HACK..
I love how all of Mother Gothels problems could have been solved if she just would have lied to her about when her birthday is.
I love how they got as close as they could to saying “did i fucking stutter” in a Disney movie
"I can’t even begin to understand women" well generally I start by treating them like individual human beings rather than a collective consciousness and then go from there
"You’re okay, honey. Get back up. Wait no-"
motherfucker what is this shit, sand? fuck sand. i hate sand. thanks, mom. thanks for absolutely nothing, leaving me here on this fucking beach, is that a fucking seagull? oh my god, mom, you suck more than anything has ever sucked. i’m getting to that ocean just so i can urinate on your carapace. i’m gonna urinate on it so hard. fucking sand. i think five of my brothers just got eaten. good, i hated those assholes. i’m coming, mom. you’ve got blood on your flippers, bitch.